Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Resting Heart

Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right? Or maybe one of those weeks? You do your best... You try to get your work done well, you try to please the people around you, and you even try to be healthy! And sometimes it just doesn't work out. Sometimes your work is totally wrong and your boss lets you know it; sometimes that thing you did trying to bless your family and friends ends up alienating you even more; sometimes things conspire against you to mess up your healthy eating plan and work out routine.

It's been one of those weeks for me. My Creole wasn't so great, and my teacher let me know it... often and loudly.  I tried to be helpful and ended up using precious resources and making a mess. At times, lack of power meant no workout DVD, and a rough case of hives changed my varied diet to just pb and j.  

What's a girl to do when one of those weeks comes up? When you feel like everything you do is wrong when you're trying so desperately to do what's right? This morning, the Lord showed me something incredible:

Everything that I do apart from Him fails. 

There is nothing good in me on my own.

If anything good comes out of me, it is sheer grace! 

If left to myself and my carnal nature, how can anything turn out right? How could it be anything other than failure? But God offers me His righteousness through His Son Jesus Christ. Anything good in me comes from Him. Anything that I do right is a gift from Him. So all that I do must be commited to Him and done out of love for Him. And even if I mess up, He's bigger and greater than my mess and can undo the mischief that I have incurred if He so chooses. Anything good that you see in me is from God. 

What a humbling and sweet lesson! And what a load that has taken off my shoulders! That load that pushes me down with guilt when my attempts to do good fail miserably. I'm free from that guilt! My focus can now be on committing all to Him and asking for His grace to do stuff right. According to 2 Cor. 9:8, He is able to make all grace abound to me at all times, so that in all things at all times, I can abound in every good work. 

Grace. Sheer grace.

As I was thanking God for His abundant grace that is available to me, He reminded me of something that I had read in Creole this morning. I've been reading the Bible in Creole  cuz I think it's fun (i'm weird, i know :o), and I had read of a "ke poze." I love reading the Bible in another language-- it sometimes gives me a new mental picture of a concept. A "ke poze" is a peaceful heart, but the exact words used are "resting heart." The Lord reminded me that as more situations arise today in which I try to do stuff and feel like I'm failing, I can in that moment and every moment have a resting heart. A resting heart is one that asks Jesus for grace and righteousness for the task that is set before it and then rests that He'll provide the grace to accomplish that task or He can fix it afterwards if I mess up. What a relief!! 

I've been reading Brother Lawrence's Practicing the Presence of God, and he talks so sweetly of this concept! Here's a little excerpt:

"When an occasion of practicing some virtue was offered, he addressed himself to God saying, "Lord, I cannot do this unless Thou enable me". Then he received strength more than sufficient. When he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault saying to God, "I shall never do otherwise, if You leave me to myself. It is You who must hinder my failing and mend what is amiss." Then, after this, he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.

Brother Lawrence said we ought to act with God in the greatest simplicity, speaking to Him frankly and plainly, and imploring His assistance in our affairs just as they happen. God never failed to grant it, as Brother Lawrence had often experienced."



Thanks for listening to my thoughts, and I pray that you spend today with a resting heart knowing that He can help you do whatever He calls you to today!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Si ou ka imajine... If you can imagine

If you can, imagine that you're on a space shuttle.  You're so excited to see it up close and to actually live there. But you get hungry... where do they keep the food? How do you eat in zero gravity? Where do you put the trash? Now you're thirsty; you find something to drink in the same place as the food, but how do you get the liquid in your mouth. Uh-oh, now you need to find a restroom. How does one flush a toilet in outer space?!


Now imagine that you're in Haiti. You've grown up in a hut with a grass roof and a dirt floor without electricity or running water. You've heard of these modern conveniences, but you've never flushed a toilet, opened a sliding glass door, changed a light bulb, or turned a faucet on or off.  How would you learn? How long would it take you?


Earlier this week, Maya and I discussed these things as she described to me training staff to work here in the guest house.  It's been neat for me to get to practice my Creole with our incredible staff,  but it takes a while to train someone how to work things that we grew up watching grown-ups do. Now, we teach grown ups how to use these modern conveniences. 


Now imagine something a little harder...  Imagine that you haven't eaten today and have no idea where your next meal is coming from... This is so much harder for me! I don't know that I've ever been that hungry, with no concept of where my next meal could come from. When Haitians pray before eating, they ask the Lord to provide for those who haven't eaten yet today. Hunger is such a real threat in this country that one remembers his countrymen in prayer often.


Last Sunday, we attended church with a great group of believers in a very destitute area. It's about 45 minutes outside of Port Au Prince, and we rode in the back of a truck with the pastor and his son, incredible, warm-hearted men of God!! This is what it looked like:

When we arrived, they were in the middle of a really awesome Sunday School lesson. We then had the opportunity to talk with the pastor about his dreams for a church building. Currently, this is where they worship; the pastor and his wife and son:

There is a small river nearby, and when it rains, the church, which also serves as a school, floods. Carl is going to talk with some teams coming from the States about putting this into motion. Here's the inside:


After church, the pastor's wife, who's a nurse, and I discussed some of the needs of people. Imagine not having enough money to be able to buy your sick, febrile baby a little bit of Tylenol. Sometimes I would hear that from moms in the ER in the States, but they almost always had a pack of cigarettes, a bag of doritos, and a cell phone in there purse too. Here, the needs include clothes and shoes for children, medicine for diarrhea and vomiting, vitamins and vaccines. Where do we start to meet these needs that are still hard to imagine existing after growing up full and healthy? 


I'm still trying to figure out my role in all of this, and how I can meet these needs that seem so overwhelming. Even if I were to return today to my old job in the ER and send all of my salary to Haiti, it would barely be a drop in the bucket! In a country of so much need, what can one person do?


As I prayed through these things this week, the Lord showed me a powerful verse from 1 Peter 1:18-19. It says, "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect." It is  not with silver, gold, sliding glass doors, or flush toilets that these precious people will be saved from an empty way of life. It is only with the precious blood of the spotless Lamb of God that makes a sacrifice efficient to wash away our sins and give us life, and not just life here but an eternal Home with Him forever. And as much as I hope to help alleviate hunger and illness here, I do these people a disservice if all I offer them is silver or gold or a new church building. 'Tis only the precious blood of Jesus Christ that offers them lasting aid. 


No matter which country you're in or what you grew up with, the Lord offers you the same thing. He offers you His blood to cover your sins that separate you from Him. He offers to save your from an empty life, to live an abundant life following Him now, and life forever with Him after death. And that offer is free and for everyone! It's something that no one has to imagine living without!