Saturday, February 6, 2010

Eulogy for a Future Friend

Marland and I were going to be friends. I just knew it. 


We first met briefly at church in December, but we really talked on January 9th. She was 24 and had just finished nursing school. I promised to look for an opening in the hospital for her. We were excited about teaching each other our native tongues, as her desire to speak English and mine to converse in Creole were equal. We giggled and talked and made plans. We were going to be friends.


On Monday, January 11, 2010, she traveled back to Port Au Prince to graduate from nursing school. The following day, her house crumbled like a concrete sand castle during the earthquake, crushing the skull of her brother Jacky (21) and killing her and her sister Ketheline (20) instantly. 


Marland's story starts much earlier than my almost friendship with her...


Marland's mother and father both grew up in extremely difficult circumstances. I've heard it said that they both child slaves. I haven't had the guts or heart to ask either about their life story yet. She and her husband both became Christ followers, and they live on the Saline. The Saline is the poorest part of our town. It floods several days a yet, and its inhabitants become homeless, living on the streets of the town. Homes are one-room shacks. 


One month after Marland and her twin sister Merline were born, their mother started work on the Wesleyan Mission Station on LaGonave as a cook. As she fed missionaries her amazing meals, she was saving her income to put her children through school. Education is expensive in Haiti, and usually the only route to make a better life.


Marland and her 5 siblings were accepted into Compassion International's system. They studied hard. Marland was almost a nurse. Merline is an accountant. Jacky was a mechanic. Ketheline was studying languages at a university hoping to be a translator for an embassy someday. The two youngest are still in grade school. 


Two days before their death, Jacky and Ketheline shared in church. They both gave professions of faith. After the earthquake, their father shares with anyone who will listen that God must have had a huge party in Heaven to welcome home 3 of His kids... Marland, Jacky, and Ketheline.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Urgent Life

The Lord has been teaching me so much about life during my time here. He shed more light on some of these lessons while I was home in the States for Christmas. 


There is an urgency to life here that I never noticed before in the States. Knowing that a third of my patients are dead, despite using the best medicine that we have available here, bears a deep impression on my spirit. Every chance to show someone love must be taken. 


Along with that sense of urgency, that sense that we must live and love right in this moment for we may never have this opportunity again, comes a sense that somehow we're meant for more than this. I feel robbed when my patient who seems to be doing so much better suddenly dies in the middle of the night. Why do I feel so bereft, like someone broke in and stole their years and their life? Shouldn't an 8 month old live so much longer?


In the book of Ecclesiastes, it mentions that God has "set eternity in the hearts of men" (Ecc. 3:11) He designed us with an ache for more time, an ache to live for an eternity. He created man to live forever with Him. After the fall in the Garden, we got robbed. We have an enemy, and he introduced death into this world. But after death comes eternity. There is more than this world. Don't you feel it when a loved one dies? That perhaps they're not really dead... that perhaps there should be something more?


During Christmas, or the celebration of Jesus' birthday, I was thinking about how Jesus is called Emmanuel, or God with us. God sent Him, His only Son, to be with us on earth. That made it possible for Him to face death victoriously, conquering it by raising from death itself to bridge the gap for us back into eternity. He provides the way to enter life forever, even after death, with God, if you let Him... 


The urgency of life here urges me to seize every opportunity, every sliver of a chance, to share with people this incredible news! Every moment I get to share of God's great love for them, that would compel Him to send His Son to bring us into eternity with Him, is a moment I must share. For that moment may be their last one this side of eternity.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Continuing Story

I just realized, dear friends, that I have been telling you stories without concluding them. Of course, life really has no true "The End" moment. It has one on earth that turns into the Great Beginning of Eternity. But here's some follow up on people you're heard about and prayed for. Thank you so much for reading and for praying!!


My hives are mostly gone. I think that I've pinpointed the allergy to a cooking oil from the Dominican Republic. It's great to be cooking for myself, using Walmart oil that I found in Port, and eating fruits and veggies again!! I'm so thankful!!


Brooke and Joy are both fully restored to health!


Dr. Emmett is healing well. Thankfully, no complications that we can tell so far. He possibly broke his nose, and it looks like he broke a rib. But he's in good spirits and healing nicely! Thanks for your continued prayers for him!


Miriam is doing so much better!! She's still weak, but able to help her mom work and go to school again. We're still really suspicious for spiritual warfare!


The impromptu singalong in the hospital the other day had neat results! While we were singing, the grandmother of one of my patients joined us. The patient is a 19 day old who was admitted for seizures and sepsis (overwhelming bacterial infection, probably meningitis versus cerebral malaria). Ever since I first saw the patient last week, he had a string with a button on it tied around his little tummy. One of the nurses I work with chewed out the family this, as it is a witchdoctor/superstitious remedy to hopefully ward off the evil spirits considered to be causing this child's illness. Last weekend, the nurse sternly told that family that this child is only getting better because he is in the hospital receiving good medical care and that the string is doing nothing and needed to be removed. I love her boldness! 


The grandmother did not sing with us, but she listened intently. The following day, I rounded on her grandson, who is doing much better, and his string was gone!!!! My Creole is still limited, but I am praying that she knows that the true Healer is the Lord and that our faith should rest wholly in Him, not strings or contraptions. 


Also, the child who was born while people were still singing was born into an unwelcome situation. Again, my Creole is lacking, so I do not know the whole story. But I do know that the mama is 17 years old, there was no father present, and the baby was offered to me at birth. The mother did not smile or seem at all excited that her little one had arrived. She didn't even ask if it was a boy or girl. I know that childbirth is exhausting, but I also know that it is a miracle and I hope that every little precious soul is born into a home that loves it and wants it. I'm not certain that is the case with this bundle of sweetness that is loved by the Lord. As my friends in the hall sang Jesus' words that He will never forget us or leave us, He whispered into my heart that He loves this little baby. He will never leave him or forget him. I wish that I were in a position to take him home and be sure that he is enjoyed and loved on and taught about God's love for him. But I'm not. But I am in a place to hold him for a little while, pray for him, and trust Jesus that He will do what He said-- never leave or forget him.


Thanks again for your prayers and comments! I love hearing from you!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Hospital Sing-a-long

I dragged myself out of bed this morning. Ever have days like that? Especially several days like that in a row? Days where you've been burning the candle at both ends. Days where you stay up way too late and get up way too early. In between those times, the day is packed full of demands that tax your physical, emotional, and spiritual strength. So when the alarm goes off again, sometimes you just gotta hit the snooze button.


Today started like one of those days.


But it sure isn't ending like one! :o)


This morning, I meant to set my alarm for 6am to get up early, exercise, have an unrushed prayer time, a leisurely breakfast, and arrive early for hospital staff devotions at 8. Instead of that, last night I stayed up kinda late saying goodbye to friends that returned to the States today and talking online with my beloved. Those conversations were wonderful and precious, and I was so thankful for them that I decided to sleep in a little later. At 6:15 when my alarm went off, I didn't. ;o) I reset it for 6:45. And then stayed in bed until 6:55. I'm not really sure what happened after that (i think that's when i made espresso-- i don't really remember anything until i drank said espresso at 7:21). 7:21?!?! What happened to exercise time and prayer time and leisurely breakfast time?! It turned into quick 6 minute abs workout, speedy devotional reading time while chowing down on homemade granola with fresh coconut. And it turned into 10 minutes late for hospital devotions.


I'm so thankful that God knows us, and that He knows us inside out-- every single nook and cranny. He knows what every second of our days looks like. He knows that this week has felt crazy for me, and He is so sweet to meet me in the midst of it. During crazy fast devo time, He spoke these words into my morning:


"Come to Me with your gaping emptiness, knowing that in Me you are complete. As you rest quietly in My Presence, My Light within you grows brighter and brighter. Facing the emptiness inside you is simply the prelude to being filled with My fullness. Therefore, rejoice on those days when you drag yourself out of bed, feeling sluggish and inadequate. Tell yourself that this is a perfect day to depend on Me in childlike trust. If you persevere in this dependence as you go through the day, you will discover at bedtime that Joy and Peace have been your companions. You may not realize at what point they joined you on your journey, but you will feel the beneficial effects of their presence." ~from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young


What a wonderful message for today! I committed this day into His care and decided to rejoice in the midst of feeling so inadequate with my lack of Creole and lack of energy.  And feeling so tired is a great way to remember to depend on the Lord for strength-- since I'm completely out of my own anyways!


And God did a wonderful, mysterious work in me today! He gave me strength and joy and peace!


During the hospital devotions, we sang a beautiful song in Creole about how Jesus will take care of us every day up through the end. It was so beautiful, and such sweet confirmation of what He promised me this morning.


And then enters the craziness of hospital life!! As we started rounding in the hospital, I was called into the small operating room to sew up the face of a local (Haitian) English teacher who had crashed his motorcycle. It was neat and a sweet surprise to get to converse with my patient in my own language! I got him all fixed up and then back to the hospital, where I rounded on my patients, all of whom seem to be getting better and missed me (i had been doing clinic work and scheduling so it had been a few days since i rounded in the wards). 


Around noon, I hit my Creole wall, that funny place where my tongue feels like it's tied up in knots and I can't speak any language anymore. Just then, the Holy Spirit reminded me to trust Him for the strength to go on and to rejoice that I need Him so desperately! So sweet!! He gave more than enough strength to continue on working and speaking Creole for another 3 and a half hours! 


Around 1pm, I had finished rounding, and the nurse I'm working with encouraged me to go practice my Creole with the other patients, the ones that the other doctors are rounding on. So, I asked the Lord for more strength, and started visiting! The third patient I saw was this incredible older lady who's in the hospital for a headache and stomachache and I don't know what else (i need to check her chart later). She's so sweet!! She's a believer, and she told me that she loves me because she feels young again when she talks with me (maybe it's cuz i still sound like a lil kid in creole! :o). We enjoyed one another's company so much! She told me that I need to practice my Creole with her everyday! After a few minutes of chatting, I thought that we were done, so I went to get up and told her that I'd be praying for her. 


But that wasn't enough for her! She wanted me to pray right there! In Creole!! 


I mentioned again to her that my Creole is not so great, and I would be happy to pray in English. O, no! It must be in Creole, she insisted. 


So, asking the Father for more strength, I did the best I could. When I looked up, I saw that 9 people had gathered around us!! Then this sweet woman asked me to sing... in Creole! Laughing, I told her that I don't really know any songs in Creole except for part of one that we sang in church this week. It's a neat song that talks about how God will never leave or forget us. And that group gathered around the bed knew it and we sang together!


Then they wanted to sing more!! They urged me to run home (my house is just across the street) and grab my songbook. So, I did! I returned and we had a wonderful time of singing together about the love of God!! It was such an incredible moment, and it felt like this is exactly what I came to do!!! 


In the midst of the sing-along, I got called into another room just 10 feet away to help deliver a baby! My friends in the hall continued to sing that song about how Jesus won't leave or forget us! What a beautiful thing to welcome a new life into the world and have songs of Jesus' Presence being sung at the same time!!! 


As I walked back home this afternoon, I remembered again those words from the devo reading this morning, and realized that He crowned this day with His presence and joy and peace! What a wonderful day! What a wonderful God!!!


May your day be sweet rejoicing in His strength!





Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Pray for Miriam!!!

Hello, dear friends!


i have an urgent prayer request and a story for you!! We are up against some really dark stuff here, and I would love for you to keep Miriam in your prayers!


The Story:


Miriam is the oldest daughter of Madame Evanston, Butch and Trisha's housekeeper and Christian extraodinare! She is a widow in her mid30s who cares for her 4 children and her sister's 3 kids. Her sister is also a widow and working in Port Au Prince to help support her family. Mdm. Evanston used to live next door to the local witch doctor. While he performed voodoo ceremonies in his front yard, she would stand in hers, raise her arms, and pray out aloud for him. He had her arrested for disturbance of the peace.
When the magistrate found out that Mdm. Evanston worked for Butch and Trish, she was immediately released. Butch was able to find her housing in another part of town, and things seemed to be going smoothly until 3 weeks ago, when Miriam got sick.
Miriam is 14 years old. She began having torturous stomach pains, so bad that 4 grown ups had to hold her down as she writhed in pain. A few times, when the pain was at its worst, she would speak nonsense, talking out of her head, and then pass out in pain. She has visited the hospital 4 times, and no one can seem to figure out the problem. 
i was asked to examine her on Monday. She had an additional symptom of constipation for 8 days. Otherwise, I found nothing concerning on exam. Her pain had quieted down the day that I evaluated her, and I could find no reason to send her to Port for a $600 ultrasound. We discussed some treatments for pain and constipation with the caveat to return immediately to the hospital if her pain increased again. 
Today she went back to the hospital.


The Prayer Request:


Please pray for her complete healing and her protection from dark spiritual forces! I am concerned that there is something going on here that transcends the physical realm. Please pray, and pray hard!! 

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Resting Heart

Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right? Or maybe one of those weeks? You do your best... You try to get your work done well, you try to please the people around you, and you even try to be healthy! And sometimes it just doesn't work out. Sometimes your work is totally wrong and your boss lets you know it; sometimes that thing you did trying to bless your family and friends ends up alienating you even more; sometimes things conspire against you to mess up your healthy eating plan and work out routine.

It's been one of those weeks for me. My Creole wasn't so great, and my teacher let me know it... often and loudly.  I tried to be helpful and ended up using precious resources and making a mess. At times, lack of power meant no workout DVD, and a rough case of hives changed my varied diet to just pb and j.  

What's a girl to do when one of those weeks comes up? When you feel like everything you do is wrong when you're trying so desperately to do what's right? This morning, the Lord showed me something incredible:

Everything that I do apart from Him fails. 

There is nothing good in me on my own.

If anything good comes out of me, it is sheer grace! 

If left to myself and my carnal nature, how can anything turn out right? How could it be anything other than failure? But God offers me His righteousness through His Son Jesus Christ. Anything good in me comes from Him. Anything that I do right is a gift from Him. So all that I do must be commited to Him and done out of love for Him. And even if I mess up, He's bigger and greater than my mess and can undo the mischief that I have incurred if He so chooses. Anything good that you see in me is from God. 

What a humbling and sweet lesson! And what a load that has taken off my shoulders! That load that pushes me down with guilt when my attempts to do good fail miserably. I'm free from that guilt! My focus can now be on committing all to Him and asking for His grace to do stuff right. According to 2 Cor. 9:8, He is able to make all grace abound to me at all times, so that in all things at all times, I can abound in every good work. 

Grace. Sheer grace.

As I was thanking God for His abundant grace that is available to me, He reminded me of something that I had read in Creole this morning. I've been reading the Bible in Creole  cuz I think it's fun (i'm weird, i know :o), and I had read of a "ke poze." I love reading the Bible in another language-- it sometimes gives me a new mental picture of a concept. A "ke poze" is a peaceful heart, but the exact words used are "resting heart." The Lord reminded me that as more situations arise today in which I try to do stuff and feel like I'm failing, I can in that moment and every moment have a resting heart. A resting heart is one that asks Jesus for grace and righteousness for the task that is set before it and then rests that He'll provide the grace to accomplish that task or He can fix it afterwards if I mess up. What a relief!! 

I've been reading Brother Lawrence's Practicing the Presence of God, and he talks so sweetly of this concept! Here's a little excerpt:

"When an occasion of practicing some virtue was offered, he addressed himself to God saying, "Lord, I cannot do this unless Thou enable me". Then he received strength more than sufficient. When he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault saying to God, "I shall never do otherwise, if You leave me to myself. It is You who must hinder my failing and mend what is amiss." Then, after this, he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.

Brother Lawrence said we ought to act with God in the greatest simplicity, speaking to Him frankly and plainly, and imploring His assistance in our affairs just as they happen. God never failed to grant it, as Brother Lawrence had often experienced."



Thanks for listening to my thoughts, and I pray that you spend today with a resting heart knowing that He can help you do whatever He calls you to today!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Si ou ka imajine... If you can imagine

If you can, imagine that you're on a space shuttle.  You're so excited to see it up close and to actually live there. But you get hungry... where do they keep the food? How do you eat in zero gravity? Where do you put the trash? Now you're thirsty; you find something to drink in the same place as the food, but how do you get the liquid in your mouth. Uh-oh, now you need to find a restroom. How does one flush a toilet in outer space?!


Now imagine that you're in Haiti. You've grown up in a hut with a grass roof and a dirt floor without electricity or running water. You've heard of these modern conveniences, but you've never flushed a toilet, opened a sliding glass door, changed a light bulb, or turned a faucet on or off.  How would you learn? How long would it take you?


Earlier this week, Maya and I discussed these things as she described to me training staff to work here in the guest house.  It's been neat for me to get to practice my Creole with our incredible staff,  but it takes a while to train someone how to work things that we grew up watching grown-ups do. Now, we teach grown ups how to use these modern conveniences. 


Now imagine something a little harder...  Imagine that you haven't eaten today and have no idea where your next meal is coming from... This is so much harder for me! I don't know that I've ever been that hungry, with no concept of where my next meal could come from. When Haitians pray before eating, they ask the Lord to provide for those who haven't eaten yet today. Hunger is such a real threat in this country that one remembers his countrymen in prayer often.


Last Sunday, we attended church with a great group of believers in a very destitute area. It's about 45 minutes outside of Port Au Prince, and we rode in the back of a truck with the pastor and his son, incredible, warm-hearted men of God!! This is what it looked like:

When we arrived, they were in the middle of a really awesome Sunday School lesson. We then had the opportunity to talk with the pastor about his dreams for a church building. Currently, this is where they worship; the pastor and his wife and son:

There is a small river nearby, and when it rains, the church, which also serves as a school, floods. Carl is going to talk with some teams coming from the States about putting this into motion. Here's the inside:


After church, the pastor's wife, who's a nurse, and I discussed some of the needs of people. Imagine not having enough money to be able to buy your sick, febrile baby a little bit of Tylenol. Sometimes I would hear that from moms in the ER in the States, but they almost always had a pack of cigarettes, a bag of doritos, and a cell phone in there purse too. Here, the needs include clothes and shoes for children, medicine for diarrhea and vomiting, vitamins and vaccines. Where do we start to meet these needs that are still hard to imagine existing after growing up full and healthy? 


I'm still trying to figure out my role in all of this, and how I can meet these needs that seem so overwhelming. Even if I were to return today to my old job in the ER and send all of my salary to Haiti, it would barely be a drop in the bucket! In a country of so much need, what can one person do?


As I prayed through these things this week, the Lord showed me a powerful verse from 1 Peter 1:18-19. It says, "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect." It is  not with silver, gold, sliding glass doors, or flush toilets that these precious people will be saved from an empty way of life. It is only with the precious blood of the spotless Lamb of God that makes a sacrifice efficient to wash away our sins and give us life, and not just life here but an eternal Home with Him forever. And as much as I hope to help alleviate hunger and illness here, I do these people a disservice if all I offer them is silver or gold or a new church building. 'Tis only the precious blood of Jesus Christ that offers them lasting aid. 


No matter which country you're in or what you grew up with, the Lord offers you the same thing. He offers you His blood to cover your sins that separate you from Him. He offers to save your from an empty life, to live an abundant life following Him now, and life forever with Him after death. And that offer is free and for everyone! It's something that no one has to imagine living without!